The Right Time to be a “Good Guy”

The world overflows with “good people” when there’s something to be gained.

But in quiet moments, when there’s no on there to tell, when you’re not pulled by any force beyond your internal compass, how do you show up?

When there’s nothing to be gained, I’m sure you’ll agree, the good, kind, caring people are fewer in number.

In a world where we’ve come to expect bad news about people and circumstances, this is an uplifting storyof the goodness in people.

This is a story about pro-football player and a 10 year old ball-boy and cleat cleaner, that will remind you that now is always the right time to be a good guy. For you never know who that kid cleaning your cleats may be revealed to be one day.

The One Who Did

Last Friday I had lunch with an retired NFL running back—by all accounts a really good guy.

Longtime football fans here in Colorado will most certainly know the name, Scott Lockwood. A high school football superstar playing for one of the top 5A teams in the state, Scott was the “one that got away” from the University of Colorado when he left home to join the football powerhouse USC Trojans.

While few will remember him from his four or five seasons in the NFL, it’s the one who did that made this story. The one who remembered Scott this morning just so happens to be a 12-year NFL veteran, 3-time pro-bowl, and Superbowl quarterback.

It all begins with an “amazing but true” story that Scott shared with me. When he played for New England, turns out that the 10-year old ball-boy and cleat cleaner mentioned was none other than the future NFL great, Matt Hasselbeck; currently the starting QB for the Seattle Seahawks.

This morning I saw Matt on Twitter and thought to share with him Scott’s story. He promptly responded:

RT @Hasselbeck: @Shawn_Phillips True story. Great guy.

Big deal, right?

Wait. Think about this for a moment.

Here’s a young man, new to the NFL, who’s been “everybody’s All American” since he can remember. Cleaning his cleats is some random 10 year old kid. Now, you’re the “big cheese,” he’s a kid you’re never, ever going to see after the season, right?

In this situation how many people—how many athletes—are going to be on their best behavior?

This is a perfect situation for revealing one’s “True North,” the way we respond when no one is looking, for there is no possible motive to “be nice” here. The outcome, some twenty years later, happens only when being “good guy” isn’t an effort but who you are.

The moral of this story isn’t that you should be more careful about when you act like an ass or how you might more carefully manage your image but that the only way to be a good person is to actually be one. Not part the time, not when it serves you but all the time because it is you.

If you’re an ass now and then; if you’re inclined to treat people badly with disrespect “some times,” than you’re doing it all the time to some degree.

Sure, no one is perfect and that’s not at all what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about who you are, less what you do some of the time. People who mean well, who care, who strive to be good and respectful to others will screw up—we all do. But who they are, the intent they show, will most often overshadow the slips.

For it’s better to slip from the “good guy” occasionally, then to slip into the “good guy” on occasions.

Related posts:

1. When It’s Time to “Call the Man”
2. When Winning is Losing
3. Life Shattered Wide Open
4. When a Pterodactyl Flys in Your House
5. Who’s Your Guru?