LIFE & The Death of Your Fat Self
Moments Pass; Memories Last
The quality of this moment is dependent on your ability to fully and freely release the last moment—in it’s death.
Thus, it is, that Life is fully realized through embracing the death of each passing moment.
Last evening during dinner, Angie and I were reflecting on the passing of time and ever changing nature of life. The people we were, the times we’ve shared—a lot of life experience and good times. And sure, some not so good but good times—which should go without saying.
As times, places and larger phases of my life passed by I felt a draw to each of them. Some sweet, some fun and a lot of exciting energy—the joys of the times. I looked at Angie and asked, “Why would anyone ever want to grow up?”
Why?
Why not remain the person you were a decade ago? Well, you have your own answers no doubt. We know that there are seasons to life—times when certain ways of being fit. Just as we know the person who wanted to live the college years forever. Even a couple extra years doesn’t work out so well. Right?
As the memories of life together passed we found ourselves in the present, realizing how different we are as people and even in how imperfect our lives are, just how happy we are to be where we are and who we’ve become.
That’s when it hit me that life is the steady act of embracing death—the death of each passing moment. Not death in the tragic sense we think of it but the death of our attachment. The letting go of what was to allow what is.
To stay attached to a time, to a feeling, is to be stuck. It’s the nature of addiction, pain and suffering. And the pain becomes amplified for if we’re attached to “that time” we can not embrace this moment. We’re blocked from the now—and that means we’re blocked from the flow of energy, joy, presence…
For most of us, it’s not blocked in the sense of a huge Great Wall keeping us from seeing the sunset but rather a lack of full aliveness and vitality—a vague sense of longing and dullness that thwarts the fullness of life.
It’s what happens when we won’t let go of an identity we’ve had, a pain we’ve suffered, a wrong we’ve embraced deep in our identity. There’s all sorts of ways to hold on but only one to move on—and that is to surrender the last moment to this moment. To allow what is here now, to be.
As the evolving minds say, “to transcend and include.” Which in this case I mean by simply leaving yesterday as yesterday and bringing what works with you, into today. e.g. Keep the wisdom, store the memories, leave the baggage.
Embracing death may even mean the death of your self as overweight, unsuccessful or unreliable. But shouldn’t we just want to leave those? Seems like we would but letting go of the self we’ve believed ourselves to be is a death even if it’s one you’ve been trying to murder.
Attachment is tricky stuff for it’s not logical. We stay attached, stuck, to all sorts of things that don’t bring us joy—not in the typical sense. Things that often bring us pain and suffering but in a familiar sense. Which is it’s own comfort for it’s familiar pain.
With every change, as with every moment, there is a death. Failure to allow and be witness to, is to be trapped, stuck. Letting the “fat lazy self” die is letting go of an identity that has at one time served in some way. It takes great courage and awareness and compassion. (Can’t forget compassion.)
There’s nothing special you need to do now. You don’t have to perform some ritual or go to a sweat lodge (God forbid) to free yourself. Just become aware of the draw, the energy in a moment. Practice noticing the attachment you have to “this” moment, and let it go. Embrace the possibility that the next moment can be more than the last.
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